Love and Inspiration in the Time of COVID 19

I decided after a long intense period of working on Influence of Place, and my environmental policy and equity consulting work in 2019, that I would take off the whole of January to decompress and renew. However, I could never anticipate that January and February would be filled with a close to home death by suicide and that COVID 19 would arrive and turn into a pandemic.

Although January did not yield itself to the kind of respite that I was hoping for, it did provide me with an opportunity to understand some important aspects of being a human engaged in and with communities close and distant.

First, I learned from the tragic loss of life by suicide, how painful guilt can be and how important it is to share out what one feels about losing someone this way. I experienced collective guilt for the first time and the process of collective healing and trying to understand an event that cannot be understood, no matter how much information you receive, it hurts, it sucks, it is senseless and it pisses you off.

Second, I learned, for the second time in my life, how short life is when you lose someone young with a promising future, that I must live the life that I want on my terms. These two experiences, although entirely different circumstances, have impressed upon me the importance of being honest with myself and with others. Embracing the joys and the disappointments in life. And also the knowledge that life gets better even when it feels like it is the worse that it can be. I wished that everyone could find a way to know and believe this. Time can heal a lot of what is broken if we give it time and seek assistance in healing.

Third, the importance of the power of an honest conversation is transformative was reaffirmed for me. The beauty of saying the truth and hearing it is magical. It was my partner's ex-partner who took her life. For me being willing to be open to creating space for their shared memories and to be able to hear about a life that had existed before me was important and beautiful part of the mourning and healing process. I feel that the experience of life includes both people whom we love and that they create a history that can be worth telling, sharing, and remembering with others.

On March 9, 2020 I left Oslo, Norway to travel to the Brazilian Amazon with my partner for a photo project and to collect sounds of the Amazon. Inspiration and renewal on the agenda. And then COVID 19 hit like a ton of bricks. Experiencing in short order another life shifting event, but this time it is being shared collectively around the world. Fortunately no one that I know, yet, has been impacted by the Coronavirus, but my heart goes out to those who have been infected or have lost loved ones as a result.

In the beauty of the Amazon, with its heat, humidity, rain (it's rainy season here), never ending bird and frog songs, COVID 19 has and is changing the world around us daily. And I am seeing how people are reacting. Alarm and fear are here as well, but there has been no rush on toilet paper, no rush on hand sanitizer. People who can afford to stay home are and those who cannot are trying their best to give enough space and to keep themselves healthy. The streets, are cleaner. The markets and food stalls which are usually packed full, are either sparse or closed down. Those that are open do a deep cleaning daily.

Back in Norway and the US my family and friends are either quarantined, working, worrying, living and hoping. One of my sisters is a nurse who is treating patients infected or exposed to the virus. She and all of the medical professionals are my heroes. I am concerned for everyone and appreciative for the love that family and friends are sending to me. As we take precautions here in the Amazon to stay healthy upon our arrival to Oslo, Norway we will be quarantined for two weeks. Flattening the curve is the main objective globally now and I hope that it is successful.

I am reminded during this time of one of my favorite books by Albert Camus, The Plague. What remained with me after reading this book is the community that existed before and the community that developed during the plague. At this moment in our shared collective history we are all experiencing something together that will have touched every part of the world and everyone's life. And how we choose to engage and react will define us in this moment.

In this moment I have never felt more connected to the human race as a collective body before. Knowing that we are sharing a common language about a shared threat to our ways of life across the globe is a unique experience in modern human history. The outpouring of support that the people of the world is showing to each other is incredible. And that expression of collective love is inspiring.

I wonder if the world will come out better after this or if we will resume with business as usual once the catastrophe is over? Will we love deeper and be inspired to do things that improve our societies once we feel and are less vulnerable? I hope so.

Thinking of you all and sending love and hope for strong health. Be smart and be safe.

The best of everything wonderful and positive,

Ernestine Louise